My Top 5 Traditional Christmas Songs

On Wednesday night I gave you my Top 5 Non-Traditional Christmas Songs. Last night it was my Top 5 Worst-Ever Christmas Ditties. Tonight, Christmas Eve, it’s time for my top 5 traditional numbers. Here, it’s more about the song and words themselves and less the artist — although I can’t say that strong performances by various artists over the years haven’t influenced my choices here. Anyway, let’s roll …

5. ‘We Three Kings of Orient Are’

I like how, as a song, “We Three Kings of Orient Are” starts out all SERIOUS and then pops into the peppy “star of wonder” part. This Beach Boys version is pretty damn good, IMO. As a bonus, here’s a cool version of them doing a snippet of it on a TV show:

And now let’s shift to this:

I wanted bring you THE BEST versions these songs. But that would have pretty much meant a post filled entirely with Mariah or Beach Boys videos. So I did some googling for alternate versions. And the people out there recommended this one of “We Three Kings.” It’s from Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas Celebration, which I have never seen, but I was surprised at its quality.
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My Top 5 Worst-Ever Christmas Songs

Yesterday I gave unto thee my Top 5 Non-Traditional Christmas Songs. Today, I’m going in a different direction, because I’ve been driven absolutely mad by some of the following songs, which are on seemingly endless repeat in every bodega, deli, grocery store, and pizzeria I’ve been in lately. Yes, today I’m being a Scrooge, because it’s the last day I can do it — no hatin’ on Christmas Eve or Day…

5. ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over),’ John and Yoko, The Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir

I know I’m going to take some flak for this, but I do not like this song. It pretty much falls into my definition of “hippie music,” and I do not like “hippie music,” all of which depresses me in a mild and indescribable way. Like most hippie music (almost anything played at Woodstock, if you need examples), it expresses sentiments that, in my heart, I completely agree with but that are so naive as to be eyeroll-inducing. I think it depresses me exactly because it delivers its message effectively — most “hippie music” (as I define it) presents either an ideal world or laments the world as it is, sometimes both at once. On top of that, “hippie music” is nakedly earnest. There’s no wink-wink back door of irony to slip out of. It’s the disconnect between reality and idealism that depresses me, because I feel like “hippie music” is always urging me to do something I feel powerless to do anything about. Why can’t it just let me be blissfully ignorant?!?

“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” elicits this feeling in me — it’s also completely overplayed (see next two songs for that rant).

I also think that Lennon is just so damn smug in his delivery: “Oh, another year over, huh? And what have you done? … Play Angry Birds for hours on end?” I guess if I’m going to be preached to in a Christmas song, I’d prefer the old-fashioned carols, thankyouverymuch. (Note: Check back tomorrow for my Top 5 Traditional Christmas Song list.)

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My Top 5 Non-Traditional Christmas Songs

I love all forms of Christmas music — traditional/religious carols and poppy secular songs alike. It was too difficult to make a Top 5 list that drew from the entire Christmas songbook, so here are the poppy ones first.

5. ‘The Little Drummer Boy’/’Peace on Earth,’ Bing Crosby and David Bowie

OK, so this one is pretty much traditional as most people would define it, but I think the fact that it’s a David Bowie and Bing Crosby duet, complete with cheesy banter at the beginning, puts it into post-modern pop territory. For a while, you think Crosby is going to overpower Bowie, but then the Thin White Duke pipes up, and … wow, that’s some beautiful harmonizing there.

From as early as I can remember, “The Little Drummer Boy” has always gotten to me. There’s something I’ve always found moving about stories like the drummer boy’s — people of modest means offering up all they have. Blah blah blah.

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At the Domino’s ‘Supply Chain Center’ outside of Ann Arbor, Michigan

In late August, Domino’s invited me and a bunch of other bloggers on a tour of its corporate headquarters in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and also of a “supply chain center” outside of Ann Arbor. The supply chain center supplies regional Domino’s with dough, cheeses, condiments, and other varies supplies. Prior to this, I had no … Continue reading At the Domino’s ‘Supply Chain Center’ outside of Ann Arbor, Michigan

Job opening for honey drone

I was briefly lured by this help-wanted ad from Andrew of Andrew’s Honey at the Union Square Greenmarket. But beside the fact that he wants someone who can speak at least two languages “not at a middle school level”*, there’s this:

It should be understood from the onset that within that stand, whatever I say or do is always right and that anyone working for me at that stand within that 12 x 12 foot space must accept that. This includes when I contradict myself from moment to moment. It is never a negotiation.

That said, I am (usually) very nice and tolerant. So long as you do not argue or whine.

* I could probably handle the shut-up and put-up aspect of this gig, but I’ve only ever gotten as far as college-level languages and never became fully fluent in Spanish or German. Anyway, you can read the full text of the ad after the jump.

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How to Use the Internet to Show People You’re the Coolest at Eating Food: Anytime You Go to a Cool Restaurant, Make a Big Show of Documenting It Across Your Entire Social Network — You’ve got to Tweet, status update, Foursquare check-in, Tumblr pic, Flickr share, Yelp review and update your LinkedIn by the end … Continue reading

Want: Hill Country Chickwich

Photograph: Robyn Lee/Serious Eats I love chicken sandwiches. And I love Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches. This sounds heavenly. I think I know where I’m going for lunch today. From Serious Eats New York: But as solid as the Hill Country classically prepared thighs and drumsticks are, they are surprisingly surpassed by two other items on the … Continue reading Want: Hill Country Chickwich